Second Chances

So I have to be honest. Sometimes I just can't stand the things that I do. I do them and then I quickly reprimand myself for doing something so stupid. I sound like Paul right now! Has this ever happened to you? Well, I am about to be honest and share what happened to me on Thursday. It makes me sad that I even have to write this, but hopefully it will serve as a lesson learned. Learn from my mistakes.

"I don't really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don't do it. Instead, I do what I hate." Romans 7:15 (NLV)

On Thursday, I was substitute teaching at a public middle school and I had 90 minutes of a planning period, which for substitute teachers means getting paid to sit there and do nothing. After the first couple times of substitute teaching and forgetting to bring a book or something to do during that time, I have finally been bringing my Bible and Bible study workbook from my Monday night ladies group. Now I've never grown up in public school but I know all about separation of church and state within the public school system, etc. So I am reading my Bible and doing my workbook pages during planning when all of a sudden some guy walks into the classroom to cut through to another classroom directly behind mine. Why I did it, I don't even know, but as soon as he walked in, I instinctively covered up my Bible with my workbook so that he wasn't able to see what I was reading. Talk about giving yourself an immediate guilt trip! Since when has it become illegal to read the Bible on your planning period at school? It isn't! But was that why I covered my Bible? Was it because I thought I would get in trouble or because I was ashamed to admit what I was doing? I wasn't doing anything wrong... well up until the point that God convicted my heart. Perhaps it could have been a conversation starter. Where was the boldness that I have around my "Christian friends?" I begged God for a second chance.

I resumed my post when a few minutes later there was a knock on the door. A delivery guy walked in to deliver some books and musical instruments (I was the band teacher!) and after polite introductions, asked me if I was studying for one of my college courses. Here was my second chance. :) I explained to him that I was reading my Bible and doing a study on Monday nights with some ladies at my church. Do you know what he said?

He said, "That's awesome! I go to church with the lady that you are subbing for! What are you studying?"

And the conversation began. Thank God for second chances. This post would have been much more depressing to write had I confessed the guilt I felt and left it at that. God is a God of second chances. Peter denied Jesus three times but when Jesus arose from the dead, he met with Peter and gave him three chances to tell him how he really felt about him. How beautiful is that?

¹⁵ When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter,“Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him,“Feed my lambs.” ¹⁶ He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” ¹⁷ He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep." John 21:15-17 (ESV)