Security

Thank you to everyone who has been sending me sweet messages, prayers and Bible verses over the past month. You have no idea how much your words of encouragement have lifted my spirit. It is definitely during times like these when you know who your true friends are. 

Divorce. It's so ugly, and it honestly brings out the absolute worst in people. It's brought out the worst in me, and I am trying to run from it's ugly grip. It has also taught me a lot of lessons. Mostly lessons about security. 

I've always said that Jesus is my rock and my security. But was He really? In a way, yes. But I've realized that I put a lot more security into other things: a job, where I lived, my possessions, my marriage. Those things can obviously help form a sense of security, but what happens if every single one of those things is taken away? What then? Is Jesus enough? 

He is. He really is. 

Because of this divorce, I am having to leave my job that I absolutely LOVE. Scroll back to a few posts ago, and you can read all about it. I won't be able to financially support myself here in NKY so I am moving back home, to Louisville, at the end of the summer. All my "stuff" has literally been taken from my home. Do I still have security when I am sleeping on the floor of an empty apartment? And lastly, the man who promised to love me for better or for worse just left. Moved out and took everything with him. Was my security in him?

It's okay to have things. It's okay to have relationships. But there is security to be found in something much much greater. There is security in Christ who will NEVER leave you or forsake you. There is security in knowing you are His, forever. I always thought that my security was in Him, but now I KNOW. I know without a shadow of a doubt that my faith and my heart are secure. Nobody can take that away from me. 

"But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:37-39

That verse was read by our Louisville pastor, Ben Hardman, at Alex and I's wedding. I wanted Christ and His love to be the focus of that day, and I don't think I could have picked a better verse to have been read. Even when earthly love fails, His love is constant and remains forever. In that promise I have hope. 

Three Years

Today is our leather anniversary!! There are only about 25 minutes left, but I thought I'd write a quick post. I thought it would be fun to try on my wedding dress today because it was beautiful, my dream dress and... sitting in a closet. That is not okay! I think it should be socially acceptable to wear your wedding dress whenever you want. Here are some pictures from my photo shoot! 

Martina Liana 260

I found a copy of my wedding vows in the left pocket while I was still relishing in the fact that my wedding dress had pockets. I expected that I had left them in the bridal dressing room at the church we got married in or that the cleaners took them out, but they were still in there! Apparently nobody could hear us talking on the altar because we didn't have microphones hooked up, so I'll share with everyone {three years later} what I told my groom. 

"Many people believe that the greatest part of love is living happily ever after, but looking back on the journey I've had so far with you, I've realized that the best part of love is when two people grow together in love and fight for love despite every obstacle and circumstance that tries to prevent it from existing or tells you that you don't deserve to have it. I've learned to look back on our story and cherish the moments that we fought for love when it didn't seem so close and for the times we clung to it when it was closer than close. I love the man that I have watched you become, and vow to fight everyday for what we have. I vow to fight for who you are and for who I am when I'm with you. I vow to fight for us. And I vow to fight with all my strength until the day that I die. Forever and always, from this day forward, with Christ and his church as my witness."

These past three years have been quite the adventure, but I couldn't imagine spending them with anybody else. I truly found the man of my dreams, and for those beautiful ladies still waiting... it's worth the wait. Trust that God has a plan for your life, and that it is worth waiting for! Oh how He loves to see His children delight in His good gifts!

An Early Anniversary Post

With less than two months until our 3rd wedding anniversary, I think it is safe to say that Alex and I are no longer newlyweds. Some people mean that term to refer to someone who has been married one year or less while some use the term more broadly to mean someone who has recently been married. I decided to stop using the term "newlywed" when I realized that Alex and I were married before Pinterest became available to the general public. My wedding was one of the very last weddings to be had without the "Pinterest influence." Whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, I'll never know, but I've heard a few pre-Pinterest brides jokingly request they get a wedding day do-over.

If I'm going to be honest, I also realized that I was no longer a newlywed when conversations with my married girlfriends went from ideas, planning and relishing over the day to what we would have done differently or what we would have changed if we, in fact, did have a wedding day do-over. 

When I first realized this, I cringed and scolded myself because I remembered, "It's not about the wedding, it's about the marriage." But as I thought about it, I am so THANKFUL that we are critiquing our weddings. I'd rather critique flower arrangements, ceremony music, bridesmaids dresses, wedding cakes and party decorations than asking questions such as,

"What could I have done to keep us from falling apart?"

"How could I have not seen this coming?"

"Why did we get married in the first place?"

I would much rather chit-chat with my friends about little details we would change if we got a wedding day do-over than come close to asking any of the questions above. 

I remember that during the months leading up to our wedding day, I was overwhelmed. Not only was I trying to plan a wedding {without a wedding planner}, I felt like we would never finish our pre-marital counseling requirements. The sessions never ended. We met with the minister who married us and did some homework for him. We took a weekly class at our church with other engaged couples. We met with an older married couple at least 6 times for in-depth, personal counseling. We spent days and weeks learning all we could about how to build a Godly marriage. While it was overwhelming in concordance with planning, I AM SO GLAD WE DID THE WORK. I am glad that I missed some little details that might have made my wedding DAY more enjoyable, but I am thankful I didn't slack off when it came to learning how to be a godly wife. 

My advice to those who are about to enter into God's beautiful gift of marriage is do the work. But do the work where it counts. Make time for the things that may not look as glamorous on the outside but will serve you wonders as you learn how to be husband and wife. If you can achieve both, go for it! I hope your wedding day and marriage are just as beautiful. But if you find yourself two or three years down the road starting to critique the day, you'll know you did your job.

"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,'  and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Matthew 19:4-6

Happy early 3rd anniversary, honey bunch!

I love you!

Forever & Always

Spring Break

Alex and I went to Niagara Falls to see my grandpa over spring break this past week. It was kind of sad because my grandpa isn't doing very well and it was Alex's first trip up there with me {ever}, but we made the best of it! I showed him around our favorite hotspots (Niagara Falls, Canada, Anchor Bar, the Outlets) and the rest of the time we spent with family. Here are some snapshots from our trip. We had a great time!

Meet the Henderson FAMILY!

Some friends of ours who have adopted {TWICE!} were on the news the other night. Their precious boys are Tedi and Chernet. Check out their story by watching this short video! You can also check out their family blog ------------> here. 

Home

I must admit, I LOVE Lord of the Rings. I could watch those movies over and over again and never get tired of them. Needless to say, I've seen the Hobbit 3 times since it came out at the end of the year, and each time I get more and more excited to hear Bilbo's "speech" towards the end of the movie. If you haven't seen it, the Hobbit is about a hobbit (Bilbo) who goes on an adventure with a bunch of dwarves and a wizard. They are on a journey to reclaim the Lonely Mountain back from Smaug, the dragon who took it form the dwarves 60 years earlier. The dwarves lost their home and need a hobbit to accompany them on their journey because 1) hobbits are light on their feet and can easily go unnoticed and 2) the dragon isn't accustomed to the scent of a hobbit. There is nothing for Bilbo to gain by going on this adventure, but there is everything to lose. Yet he goes. And he goes for a reason. When asked why he returned to help the dwarves, this is what he says:

(0:45) "Look, I know you doubt me. I know you always have. And you’re right! I often think of Baggend. I miss my books. And my armchair. And my garden. See that’s where I belong. That’s home... And that’s why I came back. Because you don’t have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can." 

Every word that Bilbo says in that speech is exactly the reason we want to adopt. Orphans all across the globe don't have a home. It was taken them. Maybe it wasn't physically taken, but their chance to be a part of a family and have a home from birth... that hope was taken from them. Alex and I won't be able to adopt every single orphan that is out there. We can't do much, but we CAN help one or two or three... however many we can... we can help them take back what was taken from them. We can help give hope and a chance to have a family to call their own. That's why we adopt.

The Adoption Process

Many people that are not familiar with the adoption process have many questions. What exactly do you have to do to adopt a child? This blog post is dedicated to give a general outline of what exactly the adoption process consists of. If you have any questions that I have failed to answer, please leave a comment below in the comment section or e-mail me, and I will answer them in an updated post. Please send me any questions you may have!

Step 1: You have decided to adopt! Some families already know the country that they want to adopt from, and some, like us, choose to adopt first and then decide on the country. Your first step is to decide which country you want to adopt from because the paperwork for each country is very different. To find out each country's adoption requirements, visit this website. It is regularly updated with information from each country and their adoption policies/procedures.

Step 2: Decide on an agency that you would like to use to help you with the process of adopting your child. Every agency has its own policies and procedures REGARDLESS of the country's policies and procedures, so you have to find an agency that works for you. It is probably easier to sign a contract with an agency that is in your local area, but sometimes that is not an option and you have to go with an out-of-state agency like we did. Our agency is actually based out of Portland, Oregon.

Steps 3 & 4: After you have decided on an agency, they will send you lots of paperwork to fill out and a list of documents that you need to gather, complete, send off for, etc. Here is a list of many of the documents that you will need:

- Letter to the orphanage
- Financial information
- State criminal clearance
- Letters of reference
- Letters from employer
- Medical forms
- Marriage certificate
- Birth certificate
- Power of attorney
- Passport photo sets
- Family pictures
- Home study report

A home study report is the report that a social worker completes after visiting your home and speaking with you about why you want to adopt, how you would care for a child, etc. This can be done through your adoption agency or through another agency. Alex and I have to use a local agency since obviously, a social worker isn't going to fly to see us from Oregon. :)

All of the documents above need to be notarized, state certified and then sent to Washington D.C. to be authenticated by the US Department of State and the consulate of whatever country you are adopting from. This can be very expensive, since each document costs about $5 to be state certified and $8 to be authenticated. The list of documents I gave above is not even all the documents required to make up your Dossier. Your Dossier is the complete set of all the documents required by your country.

Step 5: Mail your completed Dossier to the country you are adopting from to be translated into their language. Sometimes it is easy to forget that the people receiving your documents do not speak the same language as you. Translating these documents also comes with a fee.

Step 6: If the courts in your country accept your Dossier and find you qualified to adopt from their country, you will most likely be put on a waiting list for a referral. A referral is when they match you with a specific child that is available to be adopted. They will contact you with a referral once they have matched you with a child and you have a certain amount of time to look at a picture of the child and whatever information they have on that child to decide if your family would be a fit. The wait time for a referral can be anywhere from a few weeks to a few years, depending on the country, the sex of the child, the age of the child, availability of children, etc. There is no guaranteed time frame and many couples that we have talked to say that this waiting period is one of the toughest parts of the adoption process, before that child arrives to their new family.

Step 7: The next step is to travel to that country to meet your child and finalize the adoption. Some countries only require that you travel once, others you have to travel to multiple times. Some countries only require you to stay there a few days while others require you to stay a few months. All of that information can be found by clicking the link I posted above.

Obviously this is not everything that goes into adopting a child. There are parenting classes that you have to take, especially ones that teach you how to deal with many of the emotions that children being adopted are feeling and going through. There is trying to attach to your child and bond with them, and letting them know that you are not going to ever leave them. Adoption is a complicated and hard process but I believe that every child deserves a family that loves them. Alex and I aren't even that far into the process, but we ask for you to pray for us as we spend time praying for our future daughter and preparing our hearts and home for her arrival someday. As I spent this evening writing a letter to her orphanage, I couldn't help but be excited that God called us to this and has been working to prepare us for this (and future) moments for the past 23, 24 years. His plans are not our plans but we are willing to let our plans be His plans.

Happy New Year!!

I hope that you are enjoying this first week of 2013. Boy, did 2012 fly by!! As I get older, time seems to pass by much more quickly than when I was a kid. I guess it's part of growing up! Here is a little recap of what 2012 had in store for my family.

{January}

I celebrated New Years in Jackson, TN with my best friend, Catherine!

Officially left my job at Steak 'n Shake after 4 1/2 years.

I began my first student teaching placement (4th grade) at LaGrange Elementary in Oldham Co!
Alex went to the Orange Bowl in Miami to cheer on the WV mountaineers!!

{February}

I participated in Fryberger with my ZTA sisters, and we came in 2nd PLACE along with best costume!!

{March}

I began my second teaching placement (3rd grade) at LaGrange Elementary!
Alex took a "guy trip" with his dad to ALASKA!!

{April}

Alex was promoted as General Manager of his OWN Finish Line store and moved to Ohio!

I finished student teaching and journeyed to Belize with many other UofL students to teach for 2 weeks!

{May}

I graduated from COLLEGE with my Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education!

{June}

Alex turned 24!

I was in one of my BEST FRIEND'S wedding!! Congratulations to Catherine and Russell Stanford!

{July}

We moved to Cold Spring, KY for Alex's job. No more long distance marriage!

Alex and I took a road trip to WYOMING as the first of our 50 states in 50 years goal!

We added another puppy into our family. Welcome to the family, Brooks!

Met Jana Kramer at her concert in Louisville. SO MUCH FUN!!

Alex and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary.

{August}

Joined The Bridge Community Church, just a mile down the street from where we live!

I got hired as a tutor for the Campbell Co. school district and as a substitute teacher in many other school districts!

{September}

Alex and I had a date night to see one of our American Idol favorites... Colton Dixon!

Went to the Reds vs. Dodgers game in Cincinnati with Alex and my dad.

Joined a small group at our new church and started making lovely friendships.

Alex and I officially decided that we were going to begin the process of adopting a little girl!

{October}

My mom, sister, Alex and I ran in our first 5K in Nashville! We raised over $700 for Mercy Ministries. Praise God!

I started coaching softball at Highlands High School in Fort Thomas, KY!

{November}

I celebrated my 23rd birthday!

Alex began playing indoor soccer at a local sports complex with a coworker.
We began paying back my student loans. :( :( 

{December}

Alex and I celebrated our 6th Christmas together in Louisville with my family.

{New Years Eve}

We celebrated with new friends from The Bridge (our new church in NKY) and had a blast getting to know other couples our age!

Thank you, Lord {Day 10}

Lord,
Thank you for how hard-working Alex is. I cannot (and know I do not) praise him enough for all the hard work he does to provide for our family. We are so blessed with the job that he has. Thank you for giving me someone that on days like today (his day off), he will go to meetings from 8-5 and not complain once about it. Thank you for all that he does for us, and help me to learn from his example. Amen. 

"All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." Proverbs 14:23

Thank you, Lord {Day 7}

Lord,
Thank you for date nights with my husband. We have so much fun together and it is so crazy how we almost always like the exact same things. There is never a dull moment with him. He makes me laugh, listens to me, and just GETS me. Thank you for nights where we just get to focus on each other, our marriage and why we fell in love in the first place. Help me be a good wife to him... one that fills and protects his heart. Amen. 

Dinner & a movie night! 

We love the James Bond movies! 

Soccer Wife

So today is my 23rd birthday, and I got to spend the first 15 minutes of it watching my sweet husband play indoor soccer! It was his first game of the season, and I'm glad that even though it was a LATE game (11:00pm), I was able to stay up and cheer him on! I'm going to take the time to appreciate these moments because someday when we have kids, 11pm soccer games will probably be out of the question. Here are some pictures and videos I snapped on my iPad and iPhone. {Alex is the goalie in white} He is such a soccer star! 

 

Last minutes as a 22 year old. Watching my man! :)

Thank You, Lord {Day 4}

Lord,
Today I thank you for my MOM! She was in labor with me on her birthday so that should be reason enough to be thankful, but for the next 23 years of her life, she raised me to the best of her ability, and I would say she has done a pretty good job. :) Thank you for the 49 years you have blessed her with, and thank you for the heart she has for others. Thank you for giving me a mom that loved me and prayed for me every single day. I pray that as I start this journey towards becoming a mother, I am half the mom she was to me! Amen. 

Happy birthday, mom! I love you and wish I could be with you to celebrate today! Get ready for the flamingos next year!

Thank you, Lord {Day 2}

Lord,
Thank you for the concept of families. Thank you for adopting us as your sons and daughters and loving us unconditionally. Thank you for MY family: my parents, my sister, my brother, my husband, my sister-in-law, my in-laws, my cousins, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles, etc. Thank you for the memories we have made together and the future memories we will make. Thank you for our future daughter and her parents. Thank you for understanding that we wouldn't thrive or succeed alone in life but need others around us to support us and be there for us. Thank you for placing me in a loving family and help me to provide a loving family for anyone you would have join ours. My family is yours. Amen. 

"For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named..." Ephesians 3:14-15 (ESV)

We're Adopting! Some FAQ...

Many of our closest friends and family members already know, but Alex and I are currently in the process of adopting a little girl! This post is kind of challenging for me to write because I am going to try to answer questions that I have never felt the need to ask anyone myself. The questions we most often get are: 

Why do you want to adopt your FIRST child?
Why are you adopting internationally? 
Isn't adoption expensive? 
How do you go about adopting a child? 
Why not adopt a child from the United States? 
When will you have kids of your own? 

While these are valid questions, they are just questions I've never considered asking an adoptive parent. For Alex and I, we individually wanted to adopt before we ever met one another. Alex has family members who have adopted and been adopted, and I have never thought twice about adopting a child into my family. We know more than a dozen children who have been adopted from all around the world. Adoption is very common within our social circles and families. When I get asked WHY we are adopting, I have to remind myself that other people have different family backgrounds and adoption might not be a common occurrence to them. While it is common for us, we are not adopting because it is the thing to do. Throughout our marriage, we have always asked God to lead us in the direction that He would have us take, in any situation. He has been faithful in placing certain desires in our hearts and even when the desires might not be there, He patiently reminds us that obedience to Him is what He requires. Thankfully, this desire to adopt has been growing in our hearts for years and years and years, and He has shown us that this is the right season in our lives for pursuing this avenue and trusting that He will provide all we need.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for everything under heaven" Ecclesiastes 3:1

"Besides, God is able to make every blessing of yours overflow for you, so that in every situation you will always have all you need for any good work." 2 Corinthians 9:8

Choosing to adopt internationally rather than domestically I can't really explain any better than saying that God has laid this specific plan on our hearts right now. Perhaps we will adopt domestically someday... I just can't pretend to know what God will call us to when those future moments come. We are focusing on here and now. (Well... here & there and now) :)

In regards to adoption being expensive, YES it is! But we have seen God provide for our families time and time again and are confident that He will provide. We aren't putting Him to the test, but rather, we are allowing Him to show the faithfulness that He has promised to us once more. The Lord is faithful, and of that we are confident. 

We are also confident that the Lord will bless us with {hopefully} many biological children someday. If anyone knows me well, they know that I have been known to always have a plan. And a Plan B. And a Plan C. I'm the type of person that knows if you want something, you have to go get it. Things are not going to just fall in your lap. You have to be active in achieving what you want. The only bad thing about always having a plan is realizing how much time you wasted planning the moment God interrupts it. That is why ever since Alex and I got married, I ditched having the plan. I have honestly not had a plan, and while I thought it would be so limiting in achieving what I wanted, it has been the most freeing 2+ years. I feel like a completely different person, and the best part is that I get to live in the MOMENT. There is so much to enjoy and appreciate when you live in the moment. When we were engaged/married and people started asking us about when we would be having kids, I really didn't have any answer! My typical response has been: "If it happens now, we're so excited about it, but if it's 5+ years than that is awesome too!" It's hard when everyone wants the estimated time of baby's arrival, but we've enjoyed living in the moment and enjoying each other and this beautiful gift of marriage. It truly is a gift. 

My biggest piece of advice to engaged couples/newlyweds is to live in the moment and enjoy the NOW. There will always be the friend who is planning a wedding, buying a house, having a baby, getting a puppy, having another baby, starting a career, going on vacation, adopting a child, moving across the country. The possibilities are endless. There will always be someone doing something else. Forget THEIR life and enjoy your own. We constantly compare ourselves to what everyone else is doing, like God made a template for how we should live life. The only template that He gave us was to love Him and be faithful to Him. Period. Talk about freedom. Freedom from dullness, freedom from comparison, freedom from unmet expectations. God's ultimate desire is to give us a full life. Take His word for it!

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

So yes, I really don't have a plan. It's gone... out the window. I also know that if you're reading this, you probably want more details. What country? How old? I promise that that information will come. But for now we are waiting to share that information. If this post was more confusing than helpful, I apologize. But please stay tuned as we will be posting regular updates. We are so excited to become parents to this little girl who we somehow love in our hearts, even though we've never seen her face. I don't know if this journey will take 9 months or 3 years, but I trust God will see it to completion if we remain faithful. Please pray for us on this journey.