I was once given the advice to read one chapter of Proverbs each day. There are 31 chapters in Proverbs and 31 days in most months, so all you have to do is read the date's corresponding chapter to finish the entire book in 31 days. While it is great advice, if I'm being honest, I'm not sure when I opened my Bible last. The past 2 1/2 months have been the most challenging months I've had in years, and with all the stress of figuring out what I was going to do with my life, my Bible lay in one of my tote bags just waiting. I didn't even know if it was with me here in NKY or packed up in Louisville, but I was searching for papers yesterday, and there it was. And I felt guilty. So I picked it up and set it on the edge of my bed. That's a start, right? Well, I didn't sleep well last night. I haven't slept in almost 2 weeks. And after a failed attempt at a nap earlier this evening, I opened my Bible to Proverbs 12 (because it's July 12....), and I read and read and read. And then I realized something. I probably should have realized it a while ago, but I don't think I was listening. I wasn't sitting still and asking God what He was trying to teach me through all of this. But I listened today, and it's a start.
I realized today that I am in the middle of a fierce battle. A battle for my mind, my thoughts, my convictions and my future. I have always believed the Bible as absolute truth, but when I actually sat down and read and listened to that truth today, I realized that a lot of the thoughts, struggles and things I've wrestled with over the past couple of months about what I believe in, value and stand for, were warring within me. Lately I have been in the most vulnerable state, and instead of saturating myself in God's word and in TRUTH, I settled for sleepless nights and questioned everything I ever stood for. I settled for feeling sorry for myself and thinking that every good choice I made along the way was somehow me doing something great for God. I believed that my good choices happened because of ME, instead of because of His mercy and love and protection over me. I exalted myself in my heart and thought in my moments of weakness that I could survive this by my own strength. Oh how weak I really am. And in that time, Satan continued to attack. You see, he started attacking once Alex and I decided to adopt. Adoption is the physical representation of the gospel here on Earth, and I should have been ready. Maybe I thought I was. It just doesn't surprise me that the moment we sent our dossier off, everything fell to pieces. I should have expected it, and I let it surprise me. And he continued to attack. Destroying my marriage wasn't enough. He wanted everything. My heart. My soul. My mind. My body. Everything. It's a battle. And it will continue to be a battle. But I know where my anchor and where my hope is. All I have to do is give Him some of my time. Give Him my ears to hear what he is whispering to me during those sleepless moments. Give Him my eyes to see those in front of me who are hurting just like I am. It's time for me to start fighting back. Thankfully, I know the battle is already won. All I have to do is rest in Jesus and His truth. Rest in His words that convict, encourage and point me in the right direction. The battle is already won. Now to rest...
Showing posts with label mercy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mercy. Show all posts
Saturday, July 12, 2014
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Mercy
I was reminded by one of my sister's Instagram photos today that 1 YEAR ago today I ran in my first 5k. Most of my friends run half-marathon's/marathons so this isn't really a big accomplishment, but it wasn't how far I was running that mattered but what I was running FOR. I ran to support girls in crisis situations that are looking to the Lord for healing and redemption in their lives. I ran to support Mercy Ministries, an organization passionately devoted to helping bring wholeness to young women battling with some of the junk that just comes with life. Here's a brief statement that I took off of their website that goes a little bit more in depth to their mission...
By the grace of God, last year we were able to raise over $600 for Mercy which was $100 over our original goal. Thank you to everyone who supported because not only were you supporting Mercy, you were supporting ME. It's so easy for girls that have a similar story as me to feel like an outcast. To feel like nobody is on their side, and last year it meant the world to me to have so much love and support coming from almost everyone I know. My story isn't one I typically talk about because it's just so draining to talk about... physically and emotionally. But what I know is that I've had so many one-on-one conversations with younger girls that hopefully I've been able to help or encourage in some way. Our Louisville pastor also told me last year that he was able to share my story at a CIY conference and had many girls respond and start speaking with youth leaders and counselors about what was happening in their lives. I wish I could have been there to talk to them... to tell them it gets better because it does. Mercy is an awesome ministry and there are always ways to support them prayerfully or financially. I may run another 5k in the future to help raise money, but for now consider giving by clicking on this link. I'm going to repost my support letter from last year below if you haven't heard my story or want to hear about how Mercy has impacted my life and the lives of so many others. Together we can make a difference... one person at a time.
"Mercy Ministries’ free-of-charge, voluntary, faith-based residential program serves young women from all socio-economic backgrounds, ages 13-28, who face a combination of life-controlling issues such as eating disorders, self-harm, drug and alcohol addictions, depression and unplanned pregnancy. Mercy also serves young women who have been physically and sexually abused, including victims of sex trafficking. Using proven methods, a holistic approach and professional counselors in a structured residential environment, Mercy has helped thousands of young women be restored to wholeness. Mercy’s goal is to help these young women find freedom from their issues and empower them to serve in their communities as productive citizens."
By the grace of God, last year we were able to raise over $600 for Mercy which was $100 over our original goal. Thank you to everyone who supported because not only were you supporting Mercy, you were supporting ME. It's so easy for girls that have a similar story as me to feel like an outcast. To feel like nobody is on their side, and last year it meant the world to me to have so much love and support coming from almost everyone I know. My story isn't one I typically talk about because it's just so draining to talk about... physically and emotionally. But what I know is that I've had so many one-on-one conversations with younger girls that hopefully I've been able to help or encourage in some way. Our Louisville pastor also told me last year that he was able to share my story at a CIY conference and had many girls respond and start speaking with youth leaders and counselors about what was happening in their lives. I wish I could have been there to talk to them... to tell them it gets better because it does. Mercy is an awesome ministry and there are always ways to support them prayerfully or financially. I may run another 5k in the future to help raise money, but for now consider giving by clicking on this link. I'm going to repost my support letter from last year below if you haven't heard my story or want to hear about how Mercy has impacted my life and the lives of so many others. Together we can make a difference... one person at a time.
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| My biggest supporters... Love you all!
To my friends and family,
As
I reflect over the first 8 ½ months of 2012, I realize how blessed I am to have
experienced so many new and life-changing events. In the spring I completed 15
weeks of student teaching followed by a two week teaching trip to Belize
followed by graduating from COLLEGE and vacationing in the beautiful state of
Wyoming. Not to forget packing up our beautiful apartment and moving 90 miles
north, near the bustling city of Cincinnati. After a “man trip” to Alaska in
March, Alex was promoted and given his own Finish Line store to manage, a
tribute to the hard work he put in for a year and a half at his store in
Indiana.
When
I put it all together, I am just so thankful for everything God has blessed us
with and all the memories he has allowed us to create together as a new family.
If you had asked me a little over one year ago today, what our life would be
like in this moment, I couldn’t have even come close to reality.
The
truth is, one year ago we were kind of in a rough spot. Experiences from my
past were interfering with our present and I knew that I needed healing and
peace that could only come from the Lord in order to wholly move forward with
my life. Only a handful of people even knew about the rape I had experienced as
a college freshman, and I was bound to keep it that way. The less people that
had to know, the better.
After
trying to deal with it on my own for four years, I knew I needed to rid myself
of all distractions and seek the healing that I trusted the Lord to provide.
Mercy Ministries was a part of that healing process for me. Mercy is a
Christian organization that provides residency, biblical counseling and support
for young women choosing to deal with tough issues that they are experiencing
in their lives. They have four campuses, which are located in Tennessee,
Missouri, Louisiana and California. Each girl goes through a voluntary but very
lengthy interview process in order to be admitted into one of the Mercy homes.
After doing some research, talking to a past resident and going to the Lord in
prayer, I knew that Mercy was where I needed to be.
It
took a lot for me to swallow my pride and admit that I couldn’t do it on my own
anymore and that I needed help. Even harder was the decision to leave my new
husband for six months. What young bride envisions that for her marriage?
Thankfully Alex was 100% supportive and promised to be there for me every step
of the way. He was my family now and wanted what was best for me, and more
importantly, for us.
After
weeks of filling out forms, sending in medical records and completing homework
assignments, I finally had my phone interview, the last step before placement
into a Mercy home. The interview went great and it was finally time to come
clean to my friends and family that I wouldn’t be there for the fall semester;
that I wouldn’t be graduating in the spring; that I wouldn’t be there for my 22nd
birthday, Thanksgiving or Christmas. Those conversations were the hardest. Not
only were some people hearing my story for the very first time {as some of you
are now}, but everything about our friendships was changing. How close of a
friendship do you have when you don’t know some of the most important chapters
in someone’s life? Those relationships were definitely being re-evaluated.
Well
I got the courage to tell the ladies group from church what was going on, and
it was the most nerve-racking yet beautiful moment to have all my guards down
and to see them wrap their arms around me in love and support. After that,
sharing my story became a little easier each time I shared it with others. I
now had accountability and a wonderful church family that was mindful in
helping me heal. I quickly realized that with this community surrounding me, a
community drive by faithfulness to the Lord, and having mine {and Alex’s}
well-being at heart, maybe I didn’t need to leave after all. Maybe I didn’t
need a Mercy residence but simply mercy from those closest to me. And that is
exactly what I received. My Avenue church family sent checks to pay for
biblical counseling even though I could have received free counseling at UofL.
They understood the vital need of receiving healing from Jesus rather than from
the sources recommended through secular counseling.
Because
of what they did for me, I can joyfully say that the Lord has 100% healed my
heart and has begun to restore and redeem those days, months and years that I
lost to fear, insecurity, anger and hate. One way that I am choosing to praise
Him through all of this is by running in my first ever 5K on October 20th.
The 5K is in Nashville and it is called the Run for Mercy, put on by the Mercy
Ministries foundation.
While
I never attended Mercy as a resident, Mercy played a huge part in my overcoming
the silence of talking about what happened to me. Because Mercy had doors ready
and waiting, I had the courage to apply and raise my voice a little louder.
Mercy will always hold a special place in my heart and although I absolutely
HATE running, I am willing to run for mercy. I am willing to run for other
girls who in the future, or even right now, are feeling completely overwhelmed
by the circumstances of their lives or the choices they have made. The girls at
Mercy are truly seeking the Lord’s healing and redemptive power in their lives,
and I am so grateful that I can be a part of that healing, no matter how big or
small.
The
Run for Mercy is on October 20th in Nashville, and I am looking for
others who might want to join my team. The cost is $30.00 to register to
run/walk on my team {McCall’s for Mercy}. If you are unable to participate in
Nashville, there are also races in other US cities that you can check out at
MercyMinistries.org or you could help Alex and I meet our fundraising goal of
$500.00 by making a monetary donation of any amount. Any gift would be greatly
appreciated and would directly help support the ministry and the girls
receiving services and care by the Mercy staff.
If
you are unable to make a donation, I ask for your prayers: for me, my family,
Mercy Ministries and the girls that live (or will live) in one of the Mercy homes.
Our God is great, and never forget that his mercies are new every morning (Lam.
3:23). Thank you for joining me on my run for mercy.
Sincerely,
Briana McCall
{
McCall’s for Mercy }
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